"Scouting" Around (Part 1.5)

I was not in Scouts long enough to learn what a true veteran told me was the most important lesson. Namely, leave the shower immediately if the Scoutmaster walks in, and don't stop to help him pick up his soap. But I suppose you can't put much stock in hearsay, or at least that's what the lawyers tell me.

Many of these things might not have bothered me so much if we had ever gone anywhere interesting. I would have been willing to go about wet, unwashed, hungry, and tired from sleeping on rocky ground if we had camped at Yellowstone or in the Canadian wilderness.

I might have learned valuable wilderness survival skills such as how properly to load and carry a high-powered rifle. Most Scouts I know who have gone on real camping trips have shared this lesson with me. I suspect, however, that Boy Scouts may attract fanged animals the same way they attract thunderstorms. Perhaps this is why my troop never went anywhere.